You know how you go to a big warehouse store with a list of reasonable things and then somehow you come home with a big tub of dried mushrooms, even though you’ve never cooked with dried mushrooms?
I don’t shop at that big warehouse store anymore. I also won’t need to buy ketchup until I’m 93 years old.
The big tub of dried mushrooms, which has been sitting on a pantry shelf for over two years now, has a recipe on it for mushroom soup. I discovered this when I took the tub off the shelf…to make mushroom soup. I think I would have been better off without the recipe.
On the other hand, the soup may have just been ill-advised.
Now, I’m sure that if one were to actually follow the recipe, the soup would be delicious. However, if one does what I did, which is to use the recipe as sort of loose guidelines, it may make things worse.
Do not, under any circumstances, follow this recipe:
In a crock pot, put a whole bunch of not soaked dried mushrooms, two diced onions, a few cloves of (very old) garlic, an unmeasured amount of dried thyme, a larger unmeasured amount of fake chicken soup powder, and water to fill it. Turn on the crockpot, but make sure it isn’t plugged in. Four hours later, discover that it wasn’t plugged in, and put it in the refrigerator because it’s Shabbat and you can’t plug it in. Leave it in the fridge ’til Monday morning. Turn the crockpot on, this time plugging it in. Monday evening take out the immersion blender and puree it a bit. Taste. Say, “this isn’t so good.” Eat a bit more. Finally relent and toss the whole thing.